Grantley Goes · Life Style · Relationship

Hush Hush Topic: Living Together Before Marriage!

I’m sure many of you have gathered that Grant and I live together. We’re not married. We’re not engaged. We’re dating and we’re best friends. I realize that this may make some people uncomfortable or offended or go against personal preferences, but I’ve decided to write about why it’s a good thing.

It’s an awesome thing to be able live with not only my boyfriend, but my best friend. You see, I’m not great with roommates. I would actually prefer to live by myself instead of other people. I’m picky and I’m high maintenance and I think that there should never be dishes in the sink. But dating is all about compromise. In my case, the compromise is my living space. I like a lot of space. I like an entire closet to myself. I like to clean every single day. Living with a boy completely shook my routine and comfort levels.

My opinion is that living together before marriage is a good idea. As one of my good friends, Bj, said recently, “you wouldn’t buy a car without a test drive.” Living together and discovering the habits of your significant other are extremely important. There could be some circumstances or habits that you just can’t deal with. What if he keeps you up all night snoring and you grow exceptionally exhausted from no sleep ever? What if he urinates all over the toilet and doesn’t compromise with you about cleaning? What if he uses Gain laundry detergent and you use All? What if the two of you can’t agree on wall art? What if he hates your cat?! There’s no better way to get to know someone than to live in their environment. Morning breath is a real thing. Learning to work together in a living space and home environment is where you can tell if the relationship is going to flourish or crumble.

Waiting until marriage to live together stresses me out. What if I were to get married and then a week later realize that I’m miserable living with the person? It’s a real thing. It does happen. I just like knowing that any issues I need to work out with my significant other have already taken place or are a work in progress that won’t cause any hiccups in future plans. Living together is also just convenient. It helps save money on gas, food, and entertainment. Sharing is caring and sharing means only having to buy one copy of a movie, splitting gas usage and community groceries. Living together as a couple is actually just a big life hack. The time and money and energy that is saved when you don’t have to commute to each other, stock two pantries of groceries depending on where y’all are staying that night, and other forms of entertainment is exponential.

I don’t mean to sound judgmental toward couples who wait to move in together. That’s not the point of this blog. I wholeheartedly applaud everyone for having their own opinions and experiences! I’m just sharing my opinion and I know that every person is different. I simply just want to share that it’s actually super beneficial in the long run. It lets you truly get to know each other in a different way than traditional dating. It allows you a new insight of your lifestyle preferences. It forces you to try new brands of toothpaste and different percentages of milk. It opens your heart to compromise (or reject) and to love (or hate) your partner for their habits. It also makes the “moving in together” thing after marriage not so stressful and awkward because you already have your place together and you’ve already discovered his sock collection.

If anything, it’s fun. It’s fun to have my best friend live with me. It’s awesome to feel comfortable at home, with no make up on, in front of my boyfriend. It’s cool to continue to get to grow as a couple, and as best friends, while learning about each other everyday. Maybe one day Grant will agree to buying skim milk. If not, it’s a good thing we’ve learned how to compromise!

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