Relationship

He Doesn’t Really Care…

… and it’s a good thing. It’s a good thing he doesn’t care. That’s when you know he actually truly cares, when he doesn’t care. Grant’s opinion is so important to me, but he often doesn’t have one.

I feel like I should explain. I used to get so angry and hurt when I would ask for Grant’s opinion, but he would just explain that he didn’t care. What kind of boyfriend doesn’t care? I needed to know whether or not he liked my hair color or if I should’ve changed it. I needed to know if I should’ve curled or straightened my hair. These kinds of opinions are important to girls. We care about what boys think about us. We care about our boyfriends’ opinions.

And then one day Grant explained everything to me. He couldn’t care less about what I do with my hair, what I wear, or really anything else. What matters is that he loves me. He loves me for who I am.

It’s all about independence, and it took me a while to get that. If I were to make every decision about myself based off of what Grant wanted, I wouldn’t be doing things for me. I would be changing myself for a guy. That’s not a very healthy relationship. Sometimes it’s hard to look beyond the simple things, like why he doesn’t have an opinion for me, to see the bigger picture.

Grant wouldn’t love me the way he does and he wouldn’t love me for being myself, if I constantly let him dictate my decisions. It’s so important to have independence in a relationship and to stay true to yourself while maintaining a relationship together. Knowing your significant other’s preferences and opinions is outrageously important, but learning to love each other’s independent decisions is just as necessary.

Learning these things will come with time. Growing and learning more about each other is all part of the fun in a relationship. I know that Grant would hate if I got a pixie cut and shaved my eyebrows, and he knows that I would be upset if he wore joggers and grew out his beard. These are things that we both respect about each other! As crazy as that may be, it gives us an idea of what we both like yet allows us freedom to still have our own opinions.

If you’re single, don’t let a guy (or girl) define you. If you’re just starting out in a new relationship, do not go changing crucial parts of who you are, or what you like, for the other person. If you don’t want to shave your legs, don’t shave your legs. At least you’re showing that if you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to. If you don’t want to do your hair, throw it up into a messy bun and rock it. Because if the guy truly cares about you, he won’t care. And if he doesn’t care, that shows that he’s too busy caring about what really matters, you.

 

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