I often get asked whether or not it upsets me that Grant doesn’t have any pet names for me. We’re in a relationship. We love each other a lot, but that doesn’t mean we need to come up with different names for each other. He once told me, “there are one million girls called Babe, but only one Ash.” It got me thinking, we really don’t use “names of affection.” He’s Grant, Grantley or, on special occasions, Lovie. To him, I’m Ash, My Ash or, when being sarcastic, Dear.
If pet names are your style and work for your relationship, that’s awesome. However, with our laid back style of dating, we just can’t do it. I can’t switch from Grant to Sugar Lips. That’s weird. But, there’s nothing more annoying than sitting in a restaurant and hearing a young couple overusing nauseating pet names. Grant and I never went through that phase, so you’re all welcome for not being that annoying couple. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to show affection in a loving relationship. However, it’s the meaningful things between you two that are important. It’s not sharing a name with one million other girls.
I used to be the girl who wanted the cute nicknames and who wanted to feel like a princess, but now I realize that there’s nothing special with that. Adoration and love come with experiences and time. An overused nickname doesn’t symbolize your love for each other or define your relationship.
It may be an unpopular opinion, but I dislike the name “Babe.” If that’s the one name you choose to call your significant other, I’m sorry. An occasional occurrence is warranted, but “Babe” is pretty unoriginal and you’ve probably used it in every other relationship before the present. Pet names and nicknames are great for inside jokes and inside the home, but using them in public just makes me think that you may not actually know each other’s real name.
Calling your significant other “Babe,” or “Baby,” doesn’t leave room for any meaningful names in the future. Using experiences that a couple has together allows for nicknames and inside jokes to come from the heart. It’s adorable to have different things to call each other based off of that one time at the one place where you did that one thing that only you two know about. That’s special, and you deserve more than a hand-me-down name.
Wanting to feel loved is very acceptable, but that feeling doesn’t come from pet names. It comes from the time you spend together. It comes from the moments where you laugh and cry together. It comes from your most vulnerable states. Those experiences are worth more than any nickname. Those experiences are worth more than any pet name.
So, ladies and gents, if you’re wondering why your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t calling you cliché pet names, they probably have the same mentality as us. In fact, it’s a good thing! I am so glad that I’m Ash and not “Babe.” A relationship isn’t made of nicknames, it’s made of love. It’s ok if the relationship isn’t stereotypical, because they’re waiting for something special. You’re more than just another “Babe.”