Respect. It’s very important. As people, we have to respect other people. That’s how relationships work. Not just romantic relationships, but every kind of relationship. It’s ok not to get along with or like everyone, but a certain level of respect is necessary for a healthy life. With that being said, I’ve decided to write about something that I’m pretty passionate about. It’s not an attack, but more of an observation.
Let me start by saying I’m not a jealous person and that I trust Grant 100%. However, I’m an unapologetically passive aggressive person. I’ll admit that it’s not the best quality, but am I so wrong to think that a relationship deserves respect? Since being in a stable, serious and respectable relationship, I’ve encountered an annoying amount of women, friends and strangers, who have found themselves “crushing” on my boyfriend. Don’t get me wrong, he’s quite a guy, but he’s also happily taken. I don’t know when it became “cool” to actively pursue another woman’s significant other. Also, I think it’s important to acknowledge that sometimes it’s not always malicious or intentional. When you like someone, I understand that comments and actions may be intended better than they are often received. With that, if she’s saying or doing these things, she’s crushing on your man:
Number One: She brags to everyone about the time she spends with you and him, as a couple.
Good friends don’t need to share every one of their adventures with other people. That’s the point of friendship. Spending time with friends is something to cherish and creates lasting memories that don’t need validation. It gets weird when you find out that she’s telling everyone in her life what you all did, especially when it’s just watching a movie or hanging out. Nobody cares about what we do with our friends, so the only reason to share that she’s hanging out with us is to inform everyone that she’s relevant in our life. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends and I’ll talk about them all day. However, if it becomes excessive and solely about you, him, and her, it could be a sign that she might be crushing.
Number Two: She tells you, and others, about her relationship with your boyfriend.
It’s a good thing to have friends and to have some independence in a relationship. However, when she starts telling you, and everyone else, inside jokes and separate plans and how much she texts him, it’s pretty obvious that her intentions aren’t harmless. A women should not constantly tell you how much she knows about your significant other. It’s just pointless because you already know everything. Hearing about how much you’re texting my boyfriend and explaining your “inside jokes” is just going to annoy me, especially when I find out they’re not true. I couldn’t care less about my boyfriend having female friends, but when they start to think they know more about him than I do and feel the need to teach me new things that only they know, that’s a pretty obvious boundary that shouldn’t be crossed in a relationship.
Number Three: The “When Mom says no, ask Dad,” game.
If she asks you to hangout and you have to decline, so she asks him to hangout, HE’S BUSY TOO! I don’t think this needs much more of an explanation.
Number Four: She assures you that she could never date him.
She tells you that she could never date him because they’re “too similar.” Once or twice is alright, but constantly reminding you that she could never date him because she has too much in common with him, is a huge trigger that she has thought about it and would LOVE to date him. It’s very likely that this number might not be intentional and it could be her way of trying to assure you that she respects your relationship. It’s awesome that she’s letting you know that she wouldn’t try anything, but it also lets you know that if you weren’t dating him, she’d like to be.
Number Five: She makes the move.
Lastly, if she starts sending him flirtatious messages, sits too close to him, has pet names for him, or tries to push you out of his life in some way and crosses physical boundaries like showing up to your house uninvited, it’s safe to say she’s crushing on him.
As I shared in the beginning, respect is important. Regardless of if someone is interested in your boyfriend, it’s good to remember that there are some harmless actions that may not be received in the best way. Communication really is the key to happy relationships, friendships, and really everything else. Ladies, this has been a public service announcement to all. If you’re in a happy relationship, protect it. Boys are cute, but they can be way too oblivious to see that she’s trying to get with him. And if you happen to be the girl who wants a relationship like your friends, it’s important to be respectful of the couple’s boundaries. Sometimes lines are so fine that they get crossed unintentionally, and nobody likes to lose friendships over misunderstandings. There may also be a single best friend that is also looking for love, (Jerrad).
Well, I suppose that’s the end… keep on loving one another, just not another’s significant other!